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Negative Emotion Is Part of Life

jen gotti

As much as we try to avoid it (and as a society, we reallllly try to avoid it), negative emotion is part of the human experience.

I wish someone had told me this - it would have saved me a TON of time resisting negative emotion, which just created MORE negative emotion.  I spent a lot of time numbing out in order to not feel.  I wasn't aware that not numbing out the negative also numbed out true joy.

I was so afraid that if I leaned into my sadness, that I'd fall into an abyss and never make it back.  My sadness felt overwhelming and unending.

I wish I had known that an emotion lasts only 90 seconds in your body.

I wish I had known that I have power over my emotions. I truly thought that my emotions ruled me --  and they did for a long time.  I wasn't aware that I could consciously change my thoughts, and in turn change my emotion. 

My life is changed because I learned these lessons, and that life includes a range of emotions - and all of it is ok.  It is all part of the (human) experience.

How to Empower Your Day

jen gotti

Empower  verb  

  • give (someone) the authority or power to do something.
  • make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

You are the boss of you.  No one else.  Create the time in your day so that you can fully feel empowered.  Here are some ways that have helped me:

Get enough (whatever that amount is for you) sleep.

Plan meals ahead of time.

Choose thoughts, consciously.  Let the rest go.

Know that worthiness isn't contingent on anyone or anything.

Practice kindness - because you reap the benefits of feeling kindness.

Start with one of these things and practice it with consistency, then build upon it.

Changing your life starts with small, consistent steps.

Which step will you take today?



jen gotti

No one teaches us that we are in charge of our thoughts - and can selectively choose which ones to think.

When you are driving down a road and someone comes flying up behind you and flashes you to move faster - how do you feel and react?

Angry? Annoyed?

Your feeling is triggered by what you are thinking.

If you're annoyed, your thought might be, "I've had a LONG day - screw you. Slow down." Your heart might race. Your thoughts bounce around your head frantically.

Perhaps the driver's mother was just rushed to the hospital.

Does it change the way you think / feel? When you think that thought, perhaps you feel compassion and abiding. You heart is peaceful and your mind is clear.

Just like that you can change your emotional state. By choosing a higher quality thought, you get to feel good.

Doesn't matter why that driver was rushing. You get to choose how you think / feel / act.

It's awesome, right?

Good Days versus Bad Days

jen gotti

Some days are easier than others.

Is that true?

It certainly feels true.

For a long time, I just accepted the fact that some days were better than others… that I wouldn’t know what kind of day it was until that morning.

I thought this was because I believed that some days are easier than others. Pretty common thought. I chalked it up to having a “bad” day or having a “good” day.

What if there is no such thing as “good” or “bad” days - there are just DAYS.  Could we really wake up and decide what kind of day we wanted to have, everyday?

We all have days. Days are a given - a circumstance. And, we do, indeed, get to choose what kind of days we have.

Before I learned this concept, I thought, "Why do some people have an amazing amount of “good” days? Why can’t I get some of that? Why am I struggling so much?”

This is miraculous news. Life doesn’t just happen TO us. We are active participants in life when we choose to be.

Choose well!

P.S. If you're interested in going deeper on how to apply this in your own life, let's talk!

First Step to Changing Your Life

jen gotti


That is the first step to changing your life: decide.

A lot of nonsense will churn from your mind after you decide. Thoughts like:

I can't do that.
It's too hard.
I don't have enough time.
It's such a big goal - it will take forever.
I can't get it together.

If a thought doesn't help you, picture yourself karate chopping them and stay on course. Those nonsense thoughts will come up in your mind over and over. KARATE CHOP!

It's a karate punch & not a chop... but I love the picture! You get the idea!

It's a karate punch & not a chop... but I love the picture! You get the idea!

Practice some helpful, positive thoughts like:

I can do this.
I can do difficult things.
I am efficient.
I am worth it.
I'm moving towards my goal, one step at a time.

Choose positive. You're worth it!


Amp Up Your Life

jen gotti

When you value yourself you'll realize that there is more to life than the regular, daily slog. You'll want more awesome in your life - you'll know that it's possible in your bones.

Feeling empowered is taking life by the reigns and living it to the fullest.

Being empowered means that you are the boss of your life: that circumstances and other people cannot affect how you feel and live your life. It is sweet freedom.

From that place, your life looks (and feels) crystal clear and anything is a possible.

What are you waiting for?

10 Inspirational Quotes to Help You Make A Confident Decision

jen gotti

“Trust your instincts, and make judgements on what your heart tells you. The heart will not betray you.”  ― David Gemmell, Fall of Kings

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.” - Louis Pasteur

Creative Commons "Alternatives" by dno1967b, used under CC BY / Added text on original

Creative Commons "Alternatives" by dno1967b, used under CC BY / Added text on original

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage -- pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically -- to say 'no' to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside." - Stephen Covey

“The greatest accomplishment began as a decision once made and often a difficult one.” ― Michael Rawls

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come. - Robert H. Scholar

"You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours.” - Anne Hathaway in the movie Alice in Wonderland, 2010

"When a decision has to be made, make it. There is no totally right time for anything." General George Patton

May Challenge: Take Care of Myself #TCOM

jen gotti

Hi lovelies. Each day in May I'm making a conscious effort to take care of myself through the good and the challenging. I will drop a line each week to let you know how it's going.

I can see a real difference in my emotions, eating and general well-being when I take some time to take care of me. Especially when challenging situations arise.

This week was a great time to start this journey because I had many opportunities to decide which way I wanted to go: put a smile on my face and force myself through an experience or to truly listen to myself and make a decision that supports my well-being.

Here are 3 of my favorite tools to help savor the moment:

Insight Timer - Meditation Timer

Smithsonian Zoo Animal Cams - pandas are my current favorite!

A pep talk

Join me on the journey - start wherever you are. Tell me how you cultivate a self-care practice, if it's easy or difficult it is and why you're doing it, in the comments below.

~jen gotti  :)


The first days of May #TCOM were filled with taking a few minutes between doctor appointments to admire the beautiful magnolias, start strength-training, have lunch with a friend (that gave me a beautiful candle!), allow myself to cry (that's not me in the picture... i didn't think to take a picture of myself while I was upset!), and to take my dog, Lucy, for a walk.