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Choose Your Thoughts: You've Got Options

jen gotti

Choosing our thoughts starts with awareness that we have the ability to do so.

I've decided to share a series of posts that demonstrates this, with the intention that practice makes perfect.

CIRCUMSTANCE:   Snow.  (It snowed last night in New Jersey.)


I hate snow.
What a freaking hassle.
It looks beautiful.
I love snow.
I hate the cold.
I'm glad it's Sunday.
My husband and dog love the snow.
Snow brings all the neighbors out.
Our snow blower is amazing.
Great day for a fire (in the fireplace)!
It's so messy.
I hate being cold.
I can stay inside and get a lot of things done.

If I choose a negative thought, you can guess how I'll feel and move through the world.

I can't necessarily get behind, "I love snow," because it isn't true for me.

But, I can choose, "My husband and dog love the snow,"  and this thought makes me feel happy.

Find a circumstance and try it out.  List all your thoughts and then consciously choose one that ultimately makes you feel good.

If you want to practice this on a regular basis and get personalized support, set-up a mini-session.

Choose well, my friends!  :)


How to Solve Any (and All) of Your Problems

jen gotti

There are no problems in the world - just your thoughts about circumstances.

Your thought(s) are what cause you problems.

There are zillions of thoughts.  The one you choose dictates how you feel.

For example, let's say it's raining.

One thought might be, "YAY! It's raining.  My grass and garden needed a good soaking!"

Another thought might be, "UHG. It's raining.  My hair will be so frizzy!"

Another thought might be, "It's raining. Let me get my umbrella."

We can do this for every circumstance.

Start by just noticing your thoughts.

Once you realize that you have full power over the thoughts you think - your life will change.



Negative Emotion Is Part of Life

jen gotti

As much as we try to avoid it (and as a society, we reallllly try to avoid it), negative emotion is part of the human experience.

I wish someone had told me this - it would have saved me a TON of time resisting negative emotion, which just created MORE negative emotion.  I spent a lot of time numbing out in order to not feel.  I wasn't aware that not numbing out the negative also numbed out true joy.

I was so afraid that if I leaned into my sadness, that I'd fall into an abyss and never make it back.  My sadness felt overwhelming and unending.

I wish I had known that an emotion lasts only 90 seconds in your body.

I wish I had known that I have power over my emotions. I truly thought that my emotions ruled me --  and they did for a long time.  I wasn't aware that I could consciously change my thoughts, and in turn change my emotion. 

My life is changed because I learned these lessons, and that life includes a range of emotions - and all of it is ok.  It is all part of the (human) experience.

How to Empower Your Day

jen gotti

Empower  verb  

  • give (someone) the authority or power to do something.
  • make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

You are the boss of you.  No one else.  Create the time in your day so that you can fully feel empowered.  Here are some ways that have helped me:

Get enough (whatever that amount is for you) sleep.

Plan meals ahead of time.

Choose thoughts, consciously.  Let the rest go.

Know that worthiness isn't contingent on anyone or anything.

Practice kindness - because you reap the benefits of feeling kindness.

Start with one of these things and practice it with consistency, then build upon it.

Changing your life starts with small, consistent steps.

Which step will you take today?



jen gotti

No one teaches us that we are in charge of our thoughts - and can selectively choose which ones to think.

When you are driving down a road and someone comes flying up behind you and flashes you to move faster - how do you feel and react?

Angry? Annoyed?

Your feeling is triggered by what you are thinking.

If you're annoyed, your thought might be, "I've had a LONG day - screw you. Slow down." Your heart might race. Your thoughts bounce around your head frantically.

Perhaps the driver's mother was just rushed to the hospital.

Does it change the way you think / feel? When you think that thought, perhaps you feel compassion and abiding. You heart is peaceful and your mind is clear.

Just like that you can change your emotional state. By choosing a higher quality thought, you get to feel good.

Doesn't matter why that driver was rushing. You get to choose how you think / feel / act.

It's awesome, right?

Good Days versus Bad Days

jen gotti

Some days are easier than others.

Is that true?

It certainly feels true.

For a long time, I just accepted the fact that some days were better than others… that I wouldn’t know what kind of day it was until that morning.

I thought this was because I believed that some days are easier than others. Pretty common thought. I chalked it up to having a “bad” day or having a “good” day.

What if there is no such thing as “good” or “bad” days - there are just DAYS.  Could we really wake up and decide what kind of day we wanted to have, everyday?

We all have days. Days are a given - a circumstance. And, we do, indeed, get to choose what kind of days we have.

Before I learned this concept, I thought, "Why do some people have an amazing amount of “good” days? Why can’t I get some of that? Why am I struggling so much?”

This is miraculous news. Life doesn’t just happen TO us. We are active participants in life when we choose to be.

Choose well!

P.S. If you're interested in going deeper on how to apply this in your own life, let's talk!

First Step to Changing Your Life

jen gotti


That is the first step to changing your life: decide.

A lot of nonsense will churn from your mind after you decide. Thoughts like:

I can't do that.
It's too hard.
I don't have enough time.
It's such a big goal - it will take forever.
I can't get it together.

If a thought doesn't help you, picture yourself karate chopping them and stay on course. Those nonsense thoughts will come up in your mind over and over. KARATE CHOP!

 It's a karate punch & not a chop... but I love the picture! You get the idea!

It's a karate punch & not a chop... but I love the picture! You get the idea!

Practice some helpful, positive thoughts like:

I can do this.
I can do difficult things.
I am efficient.
I am worth it.
I'm moving towards my goal, one step at a time.

Choose positive. You're worth it!


Amp Up Your Life

jen gotti

When you value yourself you'll realize that there is more to life than the regular, daily slog. You'll want more awesome in your life - you'll know that it's possible in your bones.

Feeling empowered is taking life by the reigns and living it to the fullest.

Being empowered means that you are the boss of your life: that circumstances and other people cannot affect how you feel and live your life. It is sweet freedom.

From that place, your life looks (and feels) crystal clear and anything is a possible.

What are you waiting for?

10 Inspirational Quotes to Help You Make A Confident Decision

jen gotti

“Trust your instincts, and make judgements on what your heart tells you. The heart will not betray you.”  ― David Gemmell, Fall of Kings

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.” - Louis Pasteur

   Creative Commons "Alternatives"   by  dno1967b  , used under   CC BY   / Added text on original

Creative Commons "Alternatives" by dno1967b, used under CC BY / Added text on original

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage -- pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically -- to say 'no' to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside." - Stephen Covey

“The greatest accomplishment began as a decision once made and often a difficult one.” ― Michael Rawls

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come. - Robert H. Scholar

"You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours.” - Anne Hathaway in the movie Alice in Wonderland, 2010

"When a decision has to be made, make it. There is no totally right time for anything." General George Patton